Learning To Love Yourself

Learning to love yourself, is one of the most important life lessons that I have learned in my twenties. Everyone has a life story and it should absolutely be shared. I’ve learned that everyone has different life lessons, different time clocks and different ways of growing up. You have to love yourself and be able to forgive to be able to love anyone else or to be successful in your own journey we call life. I’ve learned that when I didn’t love myself I settled for anyone who took interest or paid attention to me even if their intentions weren’t pure. I’ve taken jobs that gave me praise in the beginning then didn’t treat me well over time, because I didn’t like change. I didn’t take care of my physical, mental or spiritual health for years. My young adulthood was spent in self doubt, toxic relationships, neglect and debating on my self worth. Below are a few ways that I found how to love myself again.

• Get real with yourself where you are at in life.
• Let go of those toxic relationships even if they are family.
• Accept your mistakes, apologize and forgive those who have trespassed against us.
• Find a routine for your life style that you can make obtainable.
• Eating healthy and exercising.
• Find your own way to find yourself through an activity.

As there are several more obtainable ways to love yourself these are the few that had the biggest impact on mine. At twenty-four I found myself overweight, depressed, in a toxic relationship with someone who didn’t love me. I was in a job that I had been at for a few years that didn’t appreciate me working hours on end. I was not exercising and eating take out because I was too tired and honestly didn’t care to cook. I realized even after I let go of a toxic relationship that I was still settling for people who still didn’t care about me. I made a list of who I was at the moment and what I needed for change. I realized that I needed to better myself in all aspects.

Just remember you have to take it one day at a time. You can’t always cut off everything at once and expect change this could backfire on your mental health. I took day by day and started with signing up for a gym membership and meal prepping which saved my life. This gave me a chance to get healthy and back on track before I spiraled out of control. I found that working out was my outlet and my safe haven into learning to love myself as the weight started to come off. Accepting everyone that had wronged me was a huge relief and mending relationships that were lost through time was the next step. I eventually found a routine that worked that I could change around but could still maintain was a good start. Staying single and not jumping from relationship to relationship and taking care of my mental health taught me that I deserved so much more. I re joined the church community that made a bigger purpose in life spiritually.

I see so many of my friends these days that just settle for the minimum and it kills me inside knowing that I was there just a few years ago. If you are reading this just know you deserve the world and settling shouldn’t be an option. The way I find myself through activities is art, exercise, school, traveling, and working. I enjoy helping others and learning makes me happy. Once I accepted who I was and what I needed to change that was my first step in finding myself. To those of you who need to reach out please do as mental health is not a joking matter. Just know that YOU MATTER, YOU DESERVE THE WORLD AND I LOVE YOU.